How many poofs does it take to change a tap?

Three.

The plus side is that we now have a very nice and much improved kitchen tap that doesn't dribble everywhere.

Result!

Posted by Alex at 4:16 PM| Permalink | Comments (0)

Die Polizei

Within an hour of me calling the police yesterday, two absolutely fabulous PCs came over to see me at work and took a statement from me. I felt really guilty - I would have gone and see them, but it transpires that homophobic abuse is taken exceptionally seriously (maybe as it should be these days) so they wanted to send people over.

Anywho, it's now in the hands of a nice sounding DS and some clever people who are now investigating a case of mailicous communication. Quite how far they'll get I'm not sure - I guess it does sort of depend on whether the ISP is able to furnish login details of the offending IP address.

More next week I expect...

Posted by Alex at 3:06 PM| Permalink | Comments (0)

GAY FUCKER!

Is the delightfully lucid and well thought out insult sent to me via my website earlier this evening.

Normally I'd let it slide, but given some other similar things going on with my boyfriend and his website at the moment, I reckon it's probably prudent to follow it up.

Sadly for the offender they've failed to realise:

a) I'm an IT professional, not some idiot, who has some training in IT forensics.
b) The internet is in no way anonymous, even when you use a web feedback form.

Sadly I don't have the power to have a hoard of winged demons sent toward them but I do know they're in the UK, probably London, I know the ISP they use, probably on dialup and that they'd spent some minutes browsing this website, my main site and my boyfriend's site before sending the message. This all leaves fascinating clues littered around.
[Edit] I forgot to mention that they were using Windows XP and the Internet Explorer browser. Trivially easy to determine, and it doesn't really prove anything, but I thought it'd be fun to pull out. Given it's IE, it should be easy for the police to pull the proof out of the remote PC when they come a-knocking tomorrow afternoon...

I will be contacting my local police station in the morning; unless that is the miscreant feels compelled to drop me an email and apologise. Easy.

Posted by Alex at 8:29 PM| Permalink | Comments (0)

A warm feeling inside

Noooooo! Not that!

No, this is even better - the satisfaction that comes with dealing with bandwidth leechers. These are the people who hotlink images from your site to their pages; mostly those who have avatars on bulletin boards and the like. Now, you can simply deny these people your images, saving you on bandwidth.

Of course, you could substitute the image the person's posted for something rude - this doesn't save your bandwidth (much) - but of course, this should be reserved for special people, especially right-wing cuntish kids in the USA who use you as examples of "homos what should be kiled" (sic).

So, two examples for all you apache & mod_rewrite users:

This will simply deny hotlinkers access to your images:

# Logging

RewriteLog /var/log/apache/rewrite.log
RewriteLogLevel 1

# Deny hotlinking

RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !^$
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !www\.yoursite\.com [NC]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !google\. [NC]
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} !search\?q=cache [NC]

RewriteRule .*\.(gif|GIF|jpg|JPG|bmp|BMP|png|PNG)$ - [F]

Remember to change yoursite to the URL of your own site, and the path to your log if you want to use that.

If you're desired to change the image to something rude, do this:

# Fuck off little shit

RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} myspace\.com [NC]
RewriteRule .*\.(gif|GIF|jpg|JPG|bmp|BMP|png|PNG)$ http://www.mysite.com/cunt.gif [R,L]

Posted by Alex at 10:21 AM| Permalink | Comments (0)

Engrish

Yesterday we bought some of these sweets from a Japanese store in Soho. They looked really nice, but taste absolutely awful and they look like little arses. So, all together, not a great purchase, but it's the wording on the front that redeems them:

Posted by Alex at 7:01 PM| Permalink | Comments (0)