Changes

I felt like I had to write something.

I’m not really sure why but today marks a big job change for me which is exciting and anxiety inducing at the same time. I am looking forward to it though.

It struck me that I’ve only really worked for three employers in my adult life so far (albeit different roles in the same places) which is maybe unusual these days?

It also comes at an interesting time in my life. During covid I was forced to reckon with my internal self, as many people did, and I embraced my non binary identity.

In hindsight it had always been there, like an annoying background noise that you kinda learn to ignore until one day you explode with WILL YOU JUST BE QUIET.

Since then I have started a medical transition to better align who I see in the mirror with who I see in my head. I’ve found lots of people who share similar desires and it feels wonderful to hack my gender as I see fit.

To slightly mis-quote the wonderful Abigail Thorn:

"I look inside myself and ask: do I feel like a man or a woman? And the answer is... I feel happy"

Of course the UK is not the best place for trans people at the moment. NHS waiting lists for a gender clinic run around a decade just for a first appointment. The government has doubled down on pseudo scientific nonsense with the aim of eliminating trans people from public life, banning the mention of gender in schools, and blocking access to LGBT content on the internet. And I still don’t have an X in my passport.

Regardless of all this I am proud to have a supportive family, partner, and community and it fills me with joy daily.